You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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