It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
