Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
