you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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