The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize