we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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