My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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