I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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