No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
