I don't think brook has ever known best
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
