i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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