sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
