too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
