Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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