she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
