Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
