dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
