i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
