I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
