Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize