Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
nutella sex= disaster
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
