Betty ford says i'm here all night
I met the friendliest cop last night
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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