Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
