I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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