First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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