:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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