I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
