So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
