Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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