Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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