Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have aggressive nipples.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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