so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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