end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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