First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
