My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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