dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
