I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
