dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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