I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
