Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Can I color on your dick again?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
