I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You can't motorboat a personality
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
