If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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