im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
