You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
