ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he shaved USA in his pubs
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
