I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
