Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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