Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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