Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
the liver wants what the liver wants
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
