My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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