he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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