maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize