The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
