i think my tv is drunk
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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