I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
