Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
