Nicole vs. Life
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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