I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
