next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
