I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
where does the pee come out of this thing
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
